he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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