don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
