i think my tv is drunk
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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