you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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