Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I need to sanitize my soul.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize