Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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