Buhtt sex?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
