At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
