I should be sponsored by Trojan
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
