I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
