Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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