you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
