i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
