I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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