bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
