Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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