Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
