How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Operation Purity has been aborted
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
