Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
