Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
