I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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