How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
