Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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