i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize