i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
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I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
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I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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