at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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