I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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