That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
