She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
