the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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