Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
