I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
