4 words: hood of his car
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Come on in and take your pants off
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