yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
