So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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