she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
please come you make the beer taste better
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
