I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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