So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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