yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
