Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
