i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
