you will always have a special place in my vag
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
