its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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