I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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