I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
