we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize