I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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