Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
