just come out here and I will go home with you...
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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