You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
