Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
