Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
