I wannas sexs uuuuu
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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