I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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