I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
