He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
