got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
How external is "for external use only"?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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