thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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