I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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