dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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