Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
