As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
