I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
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