my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
