the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Randomize
