she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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