Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
