blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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