I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
