Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just had sex on a roof
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
