yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
