So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
